Spoonful Of Sugar

Cat has arthritis.  Needs medicine.

Get liquid medicine. Put in wet food.  Sometimes she eats it.  Sometimes no.

Then.  Refuses To Eat Wet Food every day for a month.

Fine.

It’s tutti frutti flavor.  Sounds Gross.  Especially mixed with Ocean Whitefish and Tuna.

Good call, kitty.

Stop putting it in food. She resumes eating wet food immediately.

Switch to pill.  Only needs to be given 2 times a week! Tastes like milk!  Take all other food away.  Crush pill. Put in food.  She licks food twice.  Refuses to eat more.  Meows to tell me she’s hungry.

Commence stand-off.

Hours pass. Fat Cat’s auto feeder turns.  She eats his food.

Well played.

I pour generous amount of parmesan cheese on pilled food.  She takes 3 more licks and walks away.

Good enough.

3 days later.

Take all food away. Crush pill.  Mix with just parmesan cheese.  She sniffs parmesan cheese.  Is excited.  Takes 3 licks.  It’s too dry and powdery. Hard to swallow. Walks away.  Nooo!!!!  Quickly mix with a little water.  It’s too late.  She meows to tell me she’s hungry.

Commence stand-off.

I last several hours.  Keep her from eating Fat Cat’s food.  Get her to take one more lick.  Smear some on paws so she has to eat it.  Shakes off paws.  Damp parmesan cheese stuck to counter, floor, refrigerator.

Not doing this again.

4 days later.

Hold her like she’s going to get claws clipped.  Open her mouth.  Insert pill. Spits it out.  Try again.  Swallows pill! Vast amounts of praise is given!  Many Greenies (Cat Treats) are bestowed.  Everyone is happy.

3 days later.

Takes pill.  Doesn’t spit it out at all.  So. Many. Greenies.

4 days later.

Takes pill.  Doesn’t spit it out at all.  So. Many. Greenies.

3 days later.

Spits out the pill.  Spits out the pill.  Spits out the pill. Meows piteously.  Spits out the pill.  Swallows the– spits out the pill.  Pill is in.  Hold her.  Swallows.  Take her to counter for her Greenies.

Spits the pill across the kitchen into a dust bunny.

Other Cat tries to eat it thinking it’s food.  Rescue pill from Kitty Garbage Disposal.  Throw away. (The Pill. Not The Ravening Beast.)

Kitty is cleaning herself on counter.  Looks smug.

Grab another pill. Grab cat.

Spits out the pill.  Spits out the pill.  Spits out the pill.  Pill is in.  Mouth is closed.  We sit for a long time.  Rub throat.  Blow in nose.  Swallows.  Still we sit. I have learned.  Swallows again.  Take kitty to counter for Greenies.

Spits pill out in water dish.

Scream in frustration (Me.  Not cat.  Cat is pleased.)

Swear profusely.  Bang around kitchen.  Crush damp slimy pill and put in wet food.  Take all other food away.  Set cat on counter.

Eats all wet food.  Looks at me like,

Why didn’t we just do this in the first place?

UGH.

Begrudgingly bestow Greenies.

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