He totally gets me:
Back when we had that week of 100 degree weather, I was feeling lacking in the physical activity department (when I don’t move around enough, my back gets all screwed up). Normally I do yoga but I hadn’t been feeling it that week, and it was way too hot outside to do zombie running.
I complained to my husband.
So Chris made a suggestion:
Chris: “Wanna learn to sword fight?”
Me: “Um, no. Do you not remember? You tried to teach me fencing before, and it was basically just us doing lunges for half an hour. My legs hurt for like a week and I can’t imagine why you thought I would enjoy it.”
Chris (with probably more sarcasm that was needed): “True. I should have known better.”
Me:[Pointed look that clearly stated that he was being unhelpful.]
Chris: “So let’s do fake sword fighting – like stage combat.”
Me: “Fake sword fighting… so it would look cool, but I wouldn’t have to do any actual work or learn anything?”
Chris: “Well, you have to learn a few things, but basically.”
Me: “But it’ll look cool.”
Me: “And there are no lunges.”
Me: “Well, why didn’t we do that in the first place?? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be fighting off the invading horde or anything, I don’t need to know how to use an actual weapon. I just want to look awesome. And lunges suck.”
And so now we do fake sword fights in our upstairs living room.